Tales from the Pregnant Momma

**Not to be confused with "Tales from the Crypt" My mother & brother use to watch that & I do believe it is the root cause of my debilitating fear of the dark. Ha, moving on**

Earlier this week I was flipping through the local newspaper & saw the public notice for "3 & 4 year old Preschool Screening." It caught me off guard, my heart sunk & my fears arose.

Jace will turn 4 on June twenty eighth, we intentionally decided to delay the start of school for two reason. One, we do not want him to be the baby of his class, boys do not mature as fast as girls. I just want him to be a "kid" as long as he can. School is quite a responsibility now & I didn't want to rob him of his childhood. Two, We wanted him to only be one year apart in school from Bri instead of two. The way their birthday falls, they could have been 2 years apart. They are the best of friends & I didn't want them to be too far apart in school.

Now most of you know I have a severe case of "Momma Bear syndrome," I also have a mad crazy temper that lays dormant. Two things really make that volcano of emotions erupt, road rage & when someone messes with my boys (or family for that matter). I am pretty positive I could be boarder line neurotic. I am not the mad psycho anymore (kidding, sort of) but more the protective, worrier type.

Back to the other day, I start thinking of Jace starting school & sadly say to Jake "Preschool screenings are coming up." Naturally his cold, heartless response is, "Wonderful, you better call and make an appointment" *heart break* I can feel that warm sensation that slowly creeps over your face before you start to cry. I almost couldn't talk, I knew if I did I would start to cry. I remind Jake how much I DON'T want to send the boys to public school. I have tried numerous times to talk him into home schooling or finding a private school to send the boys to, it all falls on deaf ears. One night when my mom & mother in law were both here we were ALL ganging up on him. It did absolutely no good, he wouldn't have any of it, his main concern is money, money, money. And while I understand that with today's economy money is tight all around, but I am almost to the point that I would give up everything to be able to provide the "best" for my babies.

I kept trying to remind him that they are not going to school with the same "type" of kids we went to school with, the majority of the kids in our town are now raised by parents with substance abuse, they are physically & emotionally abused, neglected & that scares the ever living daylights out of me. They are going to treat their classmates the same way they are treated at home. And while my heart breaks for those children, I do not want to subject my babies to that. I don't think he understands that the boys will be around those children more than they will us. They will soon become their influences & no matter how well you "raise" your kids, they will follow there influences. Unfortunately we are from one of the biggest "drug area's" of the country. Meth is horrible around here, all drugs for that matter.

Let me make one thing clear, I am not against public school, I attended public school all of my life. I am just worried that the peers are now entirely different that they were when I attended school. I remember my kindergarten teacher taking mischievous students into the wall & paddling their behinds. Now days, if teacher even look at students the wrong way parents go crazy.

I guess what I am getting at is that if any little moron decided to pick on Jace, because we all know he is so tender hearted; I might break their neck. Also, if they come home & have learned "something" that isn't curriculum related like drugs, sex, bad habits, etc. I might also kill someone. We have worked hard to raise good, polite, respectable kids & I don't want some punk ruining that. Jace has such a wild imagination & I don't want that to end. I also don't want him to be made fun of because he wants to wear rain boots every SINGLE DAY!! I just don't think I could handle seeing him come home with tears in his eyes because someone was mean to him or hurt his feelings. While he is a boy & loves to play rough he is not "mean & hurtful," he would never say something to hurt someones feelings.

So even though I basically sobbed & cried about sending him to school, Jake wants nothing to do with my ideas. I guess I need to put my big girl panties on & give it a shot. Jace is more that excited at the idea of going to "school," I just don't think he knows what he's getting into. I am going to make an appointment & have him screened. He may very well be too smart for pre-school & he may be first in line, I don't know. What I do know is, the second time (because everything deserves at least ONE chance.) He will be out, we will then weigh the options, at that point I will have a good argument to stand on with Jake & he cannot say "we didn't even try it."

Until then, I will be a nervous, worrying wreck! I may end up bald, with ulcers & in a padded room but we are going to TRY... Key work TRY..... *sigh*

Here goes nothing....

*editing to add: While I would worry just as much about Bri, he is a totally different kid. Period! He is stubborn, bossy, NOT tender hearted. Nothing phases that boy & while I would never want him to be picked on & bullied, he is more like momma & would just take care of it himself and give the kid a black eye. HA! I know I should laugh but it's the truth Bri is like me & has my attitude while Jace is more like Daddy & tries to be nice to everyone & befriend everyone. Jake is not one to wear his heart on his sleeve like Jace he is soft hearted like Jace & very caring & compassionate... Maybe Bri & I need a little work. Now, what will this little miss be like.... Oh BIG sigh, I feel the gray hairs growing in as we speak... *SOBS*