How did this happen?!?! 36 Weeks!!!!

So, I say this every single time, but how did this happen?!?!?! How am I already 36 weeks??? I should be like 15 weeks or so it seems, but NO I am 36 weeks pregnant. I have had a really wonderful pregnancy, I am so very thankful. Everything is going so much better this time , unlike it did with the boys. I of course had the typical morning sickness & little things, but I haven't had any pre-term labor, no hospital visit (*minus my graceful fall). Jake said the other night that this pregnancy was totally different considering with the boys we had been to the hospital twice to have my labor stopped & I was already on bed rest with B by this point. I have NO swelling, very few braxton hicks (compared to the boys), only normal pregnancy issues! 


I am sooo very thankful that my womb is closing up shop on a good note (ha ha). Pregnancy can be miserable & I'm glad I can enjoy this. 


So here is the "Appointment bullet style" 

Appointment Highlights 

• I lost 3 pounds!!! Whooo Hooo! I have gained a total of 22 pounds! I am totally proud of this because with the boys I was a beached whale... 
• I have vertigo, I thought it might have been my blood pressure but it was just fine (thankfully). My poor grandma has vertigo & Meniere's disease  and bless her sweet heart, it's ANNOYING! Constantly feeling like you are drunk or just spun around 100 times on a baseball bat.
• Miss Neeley is measuring right on schedule. Her heart rate was 140's

Pregnancy Highlights

• I'm not sleeping so well but that's expected.
• Appetite is fair, no "real" cravings.
• I have been having terrible night terrors/nightmares. I wake up breathing very hard, heart racing & in a total panic. I hate the feeling!!! It takes me a while to actually "wake up" from them, so I lay there mind racing & cannot get them out of my mind. *I'll add to the bottom the crazy dream I had last night! 
• No swelling this time! Previous pregnancy I had elephant feet, talk about a conversation piece. 
• Leg cramps are a lot better, they only come occasionally. I got on the other morning that had my foot all crooked & I couldn't walk. It would have been funny if it didn't hurt so stinking bad! 

So, now for my terrible dream. I dreamed that I was on a farm with the boys & there were cow in a field next to us. I was standing talking to a old family friend & looked over to see the boys go under the fence into where the cows were. I started yelling for them to "STOP!!!" because there were baby calves & I knew the heifers would hurt the boys. So I took of running, big and pregnant. I got across to where the boys were & they were surrounded by cows. I was trying to shew the cows away but they were not going, it was almost like they were smelling me (weird part I know). So I preceded to hit one frightening them. The boys were within arms reach but they were behind a cow, I couldn't get to them. I was yelling "Help!" the entire time. So when they all jumped one cow stood up on his hind legs & fell backwards onto the boys. I was frantically trying to get the cow off of them & rescue them. When the red cow moved the boys were both laying there limp. The looks on their faces, from the dream, still haunts me today. I picked B up & he was all limp, I just knew he was hurt bad from the cow & I saw hoof prints on his chest. I was sobbing & screaming for help. At that time I woke up & was in a full on panic attack, I was frantically trying to find the boys (who were sleeping next to our bed.) I immeadeatly had to pick them up and make sure they were okay. Then, like I said, I couldn't get awake from the dream. It kept replaying in my head & I had such a guilt that I didn't pick up Jace at the same time & try and save him. I felt terrible, the look on their faces & them laying there limp just haunted me! Needless to say, I didn't go back to sleep for a long time. :( I have always hated bad dreams & that pretty much takes the cake. And yes, in case you were wondering... I am crazy! 

Bowling

Tonight Jake & I didn't have any plans, we (I saw "we" lightly, I held the light & got the ratchet extender thing ha!) had spent fixing the fuel pump in Jake's truck. It was another successful fix, thank God! So when we finally rounded up the filthy little boys, we decided to go out to eat. We went to the new little restaurant  here in town. They boys devoured a plate of blueberry French toast, Jake had country Benedict & I had some delicious ribs.

  After dinner Jake suggested we go Bowling since we hadn't done anything as a family in a while. It was a cold dreary night here & the boys were SUPER excited. We got the BIGGEST kick out of Bri, he sometimes says his "O's" funny. Well he was calling it Boooling, he was dragging the "O" out into a real long "O" sound, instead of a short "O". We could not stop laughing, I kept asking him where we were going. It was almost like he had a little British accent.

  The boys were so excited about the rockin' neon "booling" shoes & picking out their balls. They have a little metal ramp like contraption that helps little ones bowl. The boys & I took turns "booling" since I didn't think I could bowl 2 whole games by myself & still be able to walk tomorrow.

   I've said before that Jace has a huge imagination & comes up with the cutest things out of no where. Well tonight after he bowled & knocked down a bunch a pins, we all cheered. The little stinker took a bow, it was so cute I almost died!!! Where does he come up with these things?!?! Seriously the kid is a comedian!


  I think it's safe to say we all had a wonderful time. We bowled 2 games & the boys played a game of air hockey. I begged Jake to play a game with me, but he declined. If you ask me I think he was scared I would whoop him. Ha! I wish I would have had my camera, total #momfail on my part. I think for my birthday (hint to anyone reading that doesn't know what to get me) I want a point & shoot camera that I can keep in my purse. (Thank you in advance hehe!) 

  Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend! The Jace is watching Astro boy, Bri is snoozing & Jake went to play pitch. I am of course blogging :) Have a wonderful Sunday! I hope the sun is shining in the morning!

Tales from the Pregnant Momma

**Not to be confused with "Tales from the Crypt" My mother & brother use to watch that & I do believe it is the root cause of my debilitating fear of the dark. Ha, moving on**

Earlier this week I was flipping through the local newspaper & saw the public notice for "3 & 4 year old Preschool Screening." It caught me off guard, my heart sunk & my fears arose.

Jace will turn 4 on June twenty eighth, we intentionally decided to delay the start of school for two reason. One, we do not want him to be the baby of his class, boys do not mature as fast as girls. I just want him to be a "kid" as long as he can. School is quite a responsibility now & I didn't want to rob him of his childhood. Two, We wanted him to only be one year apart in school from Bri instead of two. The way their birthday falls, they could have been 2 years apart. They are the best of friends & I didn't want them to be too far apart in school.

Now most of you know I have a severe case of "Momma Bear syndrome," I also have a mad crazy temper that lays dormant. Two things really make that volcano of emotions erupt, road rage & when someone messes with my boys (or family for that matter). I am pretty positive I could be boarder line neurotic. I am not the mad psycho anymore (kidding, sort of) but more the protective, worrier type.

Back to the other day, I start thinking of Jace starting school & sadly say to Jake "Preschool screenings are coming up." Naturally his cold, heartless response is, "Wonderful, you better call and make an appointment" *heart break* I can feel that warm sensation that slowly creeps over your face before you start to cry. I almost couldn't talk, I knew if I did I would start to cry. I remind Jake how much I DON'T want to send the boys to public school. I have tried numerous times to talk him into home schooling or finding a private school to send the boys to, it all falls on deaf ears. One night when my mom & mother in law were both here we were ALL ganging up on him. It did absolutely no good, he wouldn't have any of it, his main concern is money, money, money. And while I understand that with today's economy money is tight all around, but I am almost to the point that I would give up everything to be able to provide the "best" for my babies.

I kept trying to remind him that they are not going to school with the same "type" of kids we went to school with, the majority of the kids in our town are now raised by parents with substance abuse, they are physically & emotionally abused, neglected & that scares the ever living daylights out of me. They are going to treat their classmates the same way they are treated at home. And while my heart breaks for those children, I do not want to subject my babies to that. I don't think he understands that the boys will be around those children more than they will us. They will soon become their influences & no matter how well you "raise" your kids, they will follow there influences. Unfortunately we are from one of the biggest "drug area's" of the country. Meth is horrible around here, all drugs for that matter.

Let me make one thing clear, I am not against public school, I attended public school all of my life. I am just worried that the peers are now entirely different that they were when I attended school. I remember my kindergarten teacher taking mischievous students into the wall & paddling their behinds. Now days, if teacher even look at students the wrong way parents go crazy.

I guess what I am getting at is that if any little moron decided to pick on Jace, because we all know he is so tender hearted; I might break their neck. Also, if they come home & have learned "something" that isn't curriculum related like drugs, sex, bad habits, etc. I might also kill someone. We have worked hard to raise good, polite, respectable kids & I don't want some punk ruining that. Jace has such a wild imagination & I don't want that to end. I also don't want him to be made fun of because he wants to wear rain boots every SINGLE DAY!! I just don't think I could handle seeing him come home with tears in his eyes because someone was mean to him or hurt his feelings. While he is a boy & loves to play rough he is not "mean & hurtful," he would never say something to hurt someones feelings.

So even though I basically sobbed & cried about sending him to school, Jake wants nothing to do with my ideas. I guess I need to put my big girl panties on & give it a shot. Jace is more that excited at the idea of going to "school," I just don't think he knows what he's getting into. I am going to make an appointment & have him screened. He may very well be too smart for pre-school & he may be first in line, I don't know. What I do know is, the second time (because everything deserves at least ONE chance.) He will be out, we will then weigh the options, at that point I will have a good argument to stand on with Jake & he cannot say "we didn't even try it."

Until then, I will be a nervous, worrying wreck! I may end up bald, with ulcers & in a padded room but we are going to TRY... Key work TRY..... *sigh*

Here goes nothing....

*editing to add: While I would worry just as much about Bri, he is a totally different kid. Period! He is stubborn, bossy, NOT tender hearted. Nothing phases that boy & while I would never want him to be picked on & bullied, he is more like momma & would just take care of it himself and give the kid a black eye. HA! I know I should laugh but it's the truth Bri is like me & has my attitude while Jace is more like Daddy & tries to be nice to everyone & befriend everyone. Jake is not one to wear his heart on his sleeve like Jace he is soft hearted like Jace & very caring & compassionate... Maybe Bri & I need a little work. Now, what will this little miss be like.... Oh BIG sigh, I feel the gray hairs growing in as we speak... *SOBS*