I am not a overly hormonal person & I don't cry a lot. I actually hate crying because it makes my throat hurt & my cheeks turn red. On top of that I do not deal well with other people's emotions. Crying people make me soooo very uncomfortable. I never know what to say or do, I just stand there like an idiot frozen.
Today I got onto Facebook & everything seemed so depressing & sad. I hate that, I feel like I should say something but I don't. I almost skip over & act like I never read it. I know that makes me look like a total jerk. I also see people that are affected & normally it affects me as well.
Japan for example, so many people have written about their heartache for Japan & the other affected areas. I have a foreign exchange student that lived with us when I was in Kindergarten. I will never know if she is alright or if her family is alright. That will probably haunt me forever, but it's not something I can write about or express.
Military & deployment is another example. Many of my friends have had loved ones that were deployed. I know all too well what they are feeling, my brother served for 6 years & that included 3 tours of duty. My mother & I would worry ourselves sick between letters & phone calls. I still to this day think the tours "changed" him, he is not the same brother that left. He lost his "fun & spunk for life." Yet I cannot muster a comment of encouragement to save my life.
I see young couples that struggle in their marriage & I flash back to those days. The days when I thought my marriage was over, that I could never again love the man I thought I would spend eternity with. I know how rough it can be, I remember those fights & screaming the words you cannot take back. But, I do know that it gets better, the loves comes back. Someday you will be as happy as you were the day you married. Instead, I glance over & read on.
I see people who have been affected by cancer & I never mention anything. I never repost the status for an hour, I never mention the two grandma that I lost too soon to cancer. I never mention that the only memory of my Grandma was how much she LOVED to have my mama wash her hair after she was too weak. It's so unfair but I just shuffle away those emotions & go about my days.
Today I posted Isaiah 40:31 on Facebook, I hate seeing everyone so down. Life is so unfair sometimes but we shall "soar on Eagles wings... run and not grow weary... walk and not be faint." And even though I may not express it, my heart is heavy right along with everyone else. (Maybe that verse is just as much for me.) I do care, I hate to see families separated because of deployments, I hate seeing heart break when marriages are not picket fences, sedans & cobbler on the table. I wish I remembered more about my Grandmother, but I know that some day she will meet me at those pearly gates and we will make up for lost time. I pray for every person that was affected my the recent earthquake & tsunami. And even though I don't know if Myau & her family are alright, God does. He will take care of them & protect them. If he's called them home all I can say is Lucky them!
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
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