Picking myself up...

Well, I am picking myself up & hopping back on the bandwagon. Having a newborn, 2 & NOW 4 year old can make for hectic times. I just realized I need to be blogging to remember all these wonderful days! So, for the next few days I will be posting one or two a day until I am caught up with all the events of the past 2 month. Until then, you can stare at this beautiful little girl like I do every single day; she's obviously why I accomplish NOTHING!

All my love,
A mama to THREE!!!!

Less than 24 hours I will be a new mama again!!!

Yes, you read that right! Tomorrow, MONDAY MAY 23rd I am heading to the hospital to have my baby girl!!! I cannot believe it, it has flown by so fast that it makes me incredibly sad!!! I have had a wonderful pregnancy & am going to miss all of the little rolls & kicks. It's hard to believe this is the LAST day I will be pregnant! 


I am over the moon though with excitement to be having a little girl, our family of five will be complete! I have finally quit nesting like a mad woman, there are still a couple things that I wanted to get done, but I know come Thursday when we get home they won't matter. 


I don't think the boys really know what is all about to happen, but I know they will be so in love with their sister! We took a couple of pictures yesterday, I cannot wait until she gets here & have family pictures taken. :) I need one of those ridiculously large pictures plastered on my wall. 




The last few visits have been very uneventful, I am praying that the C-Section goes the exact same way! Remember me tomorrow morning, I am sure that I will be a nervous wreck! 

My last pregnancy update ever! 

(That's sad to write) 

I carried you to 39 weeks 1 day.

My guess is you will weigh 7 pounds 1 ounce & be 21" long.

I suspect you'll have a head full of hair like your brothers did. 

From the ultrasound images you will probably have your daddy's cute little nose.

I PRAY you have your daddy's long eye lashes. Mommy now has short & thin eyelashes since she had your brothers & you. 

I only gained 25 pounds with you. Quite a BIG difference from J&B, I gained close to 50 with Jace & probably 60 with Brily. Mommy was a beached whale!!!

Mommy has a seamingly swell pregnancy with you, no complications except for my kidney issue. Thankfully no high blood pressure or diabetes. I did have to take a lot of vitamins, but that's nothing compared to last two pregnancies!!!

I will be glad when I don't have to wake SIX times a night to pee! Oh, I am REALLY looking forward to that! I know I'll probably still get up 6 times a night with you for a while, but thats okay. 

Thank you again everyone for you support, prayers & encouragement! I am receiving my reward tomorrow for all the hard work ;) I cannot wait to post pictures of the little Princess!!!!

Here is our maternity picture from yesterday! 

Showered with Love take Three

We had our third shower today, Miss Neeley Kayt is already sooo very spoiled! She got some of the cutest things!!! According to the boys it was her "birthday party" haha! 

Here is a slide show of the shower

And everything the little Princess got today! Grandma Vicki (My mom) has gone wild!!! She has 4 grandsons & she is over the moon to be finally getting a 'Granddaughter.' She got some of the cutest things!!! She got her a 'Pretty Purse,' it came with a cell phone, powder compact, coin purse, keys & of course a purse to put it all in. She also got her 2 adorable outfits, one is a brown cow print cowgirl dress with matching boots & the other is a pink outfit that is PRECIOUS!!! (See below) My Grandma got her a teeny tiny tea pot for her little cabinet (See below). I cannot wait to have a tea party with her, I'm sure brothers will enjoy it just as much. I'm sure she will have her way with them & they will be playing babies & tea parties a lot! 

Nee Nee's Diaper bag

Flower outfit

Cowgirl outfit & boots (I die!!!!)

Cabinet from Grandma Betty & teeny tiny tea pot! 

How did this happen?!?! 36 Weeks!!!!

So, I say this every single time, but how did this happen?!?!?! How am I already 36 weeks??? I should be like 15 weeks or so it seems, but NO I am 36 weeks pregnant. I have had a really wonderful pregnancy, I am so very thankful. Everything is going so much better this time , unlike it did with the boys. I of course had the typical morning sickness & little things, but I haven't had any pre-term labor, no hospital visit (*minus my graceful fall). Jake said the other night that this pregnancy was totally different considering with the boys we had been to the hospital twice to have my labor stopped & I was already on bed rest with B by this point. I have NO swelling, very few braxton hicks (compared to the boys), only normal pregnancy issues! 


I am sooo very thankful that my womb is closing up shop on a good note (ha ha). Pregnancy can be miserable & I'm glad I can enjoy this. 


So here is the "Appointment bullet style" 

Appointment Highlights 

• I lost 3 pounds!!! Whooo Hooo! I have gained a total of 22 pounds! I am totally proud of this because with the boys I was a beached whale... 
• I have vertigo, I thought it might have been my blood pressure but it was just fine (thankfully). My poor grandma has vertigo & Meniere's disease  and bless her sweet heart, it's ANNOYING! Constantly feeling like you are drunk or just spun around 100 times on a baseball bat.
• Miss Neeley is measuring right on schedule. Her heart rate was 140's

Pregnancy Highlights

• I'm not sleeping so well but that's expected.
• Appetite is fair, no "real" cravings.
• I have been having terrible night terrors/nightmares. I wake up breathing very hard, heart racing & in a total panic. I hate the feeling!!! It takes me a while to actually "wake up" from them, so I lay there mind racing & cannot get them out of my mind. *I'll add to the bottom the crazy dream I had last night! 
• No swelling this time! Previous pregnancy I had elephant feet, talk about a conversation piece. 
• Leg cramps are a lot better, they only come occasionally. I got on the other morning that had my foot all crooked & I couldn't walk. It would have been funny if it didn't hurt so stinking bad! 

So, now for my terrible dream. I dreamed that I was on a farm with the boys & there were cow in a field next to us. I was standing talking to a old family friend & looked over to see the boys go under the fence into where the cows were. I started yelling for them to "STOP!!!" because there were baby calves & I knew the heifers would hurt the boys. So I took of running, big and pregnant. I got across to where the boys were & they were surrounded by cows. I was trying to shew the cows away but they were not going, it was almost like they were smelling me (weird part I know). So I preceded to hit one frightening them. The boys were within arms reach but they were behind a cow, I couldn't get to them. I was yelling "Help!" the entire time. So when they all jumped one cow stood up on his hind legs & fell backwards onto the boys. I was frantically trying to get the cow off of them & rescue them. When the red cow moved the boys were both laying there limp. The looks on their faces, from the dream, still haunts me today. I picked B up & he was all limp, I just knew he was hurt bad from the cow & I saw hoof prints on his chest. I was sobbing & screaming for help. At that time I woke up & was in a full on panic attack, I was frantically trying to find the boys (who were sleeping next to our bed.) I immeadeatly had to pick them up and make sure they were okay. Then, like I said, I couldn't get awake from the dream. It kept replaying in my head & I had such a guilt that I didn't pick up Jace at the same time & try and save him. I felt terrible, the look on their faces & them laying there limp just haunted me! Needless to say, I didn't go back to sleep for a long time. :( I have always hated bad dreams & that pretty much takes the cake. And yes, in case you were wondering... I am crazy! 

Rewarding

Let's 'face' it, boys are extra hard to keep clean. Dirty faces
are pretty much a given around here. Fingernails too! 

Days like today are hard, everything is missing, everyone is tired & hungry, rain is pouring for the 5th day straight, fresh out of milk & mommy is not feeling well. I hate days like today, I wish my house stayed clean, my dishes stayed washed & tummies never got hungry. Unfortunately I would be unemployed if that were the case. Although parenting is hard some days, not a day goes by that it isn't rewarding & gratifying. I am crazy about my boys, none the less. Nothing is sweeter than looking into their sweet faces, precious smiles & the warm fuzzy feeling it gives you. I love to watch their personalities shine through, they are so different! 

Even though I have bad days just like everyone else, I wouldn't change a thing; except maybe the weather :) I love these two, I am really trying to savor every last drop of them, I know here in FOUR weeks or less my attentions will be divided again. I am so happy for her though, she's going to be a lucky little girl to have such great big brothers! They are equally excited for her arrival, Jace tell me every time she sees my stomach roll, "I think she wants outta there, Mama." 


Even though my house goes unkept, my laundry piles up & dishes don't always get done right away they will only be little once. I use to worry before I had B that I was taking Jace's 'babyhood' away. Little did I know I gave him the greatest gift ever, A little brother! They are B.E.S.T Friends, inseparable! I hope they are that way when they are 15 & 16 and too big to spank. I'll look back a pictures & smile about the goofy things they said or did, like "Bri, ook at Mama & cheese."


I am really the lucky one to have such wonderful kids! 

Showered with Love

Yesterday I had my second shower, the first one was thrown by Jakes family. I don't think I ever took pictures of all the goodies Neeley got at that shower, but I will eventually. Yesterday's shower was thrown by our Church. We are really lucky & thankful for such a great second family! My friends Shelly & Tasha organized it & everything was sooo adorable & perfect! 

 My adorable cake 

 The Cookies :)

 All of the gifts! 

 Me with my cake  (gah, I hate that double chin) 

The Hostesses (Shelly is in white & Tasha is in the green)

(Ugh, don't mind my ugly couch with a sheet on it to help keep it clean-er.) 

All the goodies, except case of wipes & a cabinet that my Grandma got her & it deserves a post all in itself. 

It was quite a success & we were definitely showered with love. We really appreciate everything & are amazed at how so many people love us! Now I have a bunch of thank you cards to write, lucky me. :) 

A day in the life...

 It's been crazy around here, I am trying to get ready for a Garage Sale, Jace had his Pre-School screening & well Brily is being his crazy self! I am still pregnant, obsessed with Etsy & constantly making something. I think it's beginning to annoy Jake, oh well! I did make a really delicious dinner last night, I'll put the recipe at the bottom.


 I also wanted to share a video of Sadee, it is hilarious!!! A few nights ago we had some company, it's been abnormally warm so we had the windows & doors open all day. So, of course the bugs flood the house, Sadee hates bugs! Some how a wasp got in & it was on the kitchen floor. We kept hearing her scratch at the floor & growl, after further inspection we noticed the wasp. She would paw it & I assume it would stink her, she was getting MAD! She would growl, bark & paw some more. When she had finally had enough she tried to eat the wasp, that is when I got out my camera and this is what happened.... *Don't mind my dorky/half fake laugh in the middle* And just so you know, no animals were harmed or injured in the making of this video. Also, don't send me some link or nonsense comment about the risks of dogs & wasps. She's fine! 


 ETA: Blogger will not add the crazy video, I now have to upload it to YouTube & then here. It will be posted shortly! :)


ETA: Here is the video! 

  Jace had his Pre-School screening last Friday, I think he did good. He surprised me with a lot different things I didn't know he knew. He was able to point to all the colors, but black & gray; we have never really worked on colors. He did really good cutting out a picture & we don't use scissors either. He did have a classic "Jace moment" when she asked him if he could count. He put his finger to his chin & said "Um.... Not exactly" *sigh* What am I going to do with him, he does know how to count. I was honestly afraid that he would stand up & say "I don't lub this anymore" if they got to something he didn't like.   We don't know if he will get in or not, they are suppose to mail us a letter in a few weeks. She did say that he tested fairly high for his age, I may get my wish after all.


 Brily is wonderful, as expected. He is such a good boy, Jace is too but B is so calm & well behaved when Jace can be a little high strung & dramatic. I wonder where Jace gets it?! Ha! Bri has started this new habit of waking up in our room. He is a sneaky little toot, he waits until he knows it's safe & we are asleep. We send him back to his room if we are awake & he knows it. The other night I got up for the 20th time to pee & kicked him in the head, I had no idea he was there. Whoopsie! He didn't wake & I felt terrible, so I left him sleeping in the floor. He also knows not to get into bed with us because we will send him back, so it's like he hide at the end of the bed or by the doors. The next night he ended up in front of the closet door, then the bathroom door snuggling with some dirty clothes. Saturday night we had all the windows open & in the night a big gust shut our door. When I woke up my first thought was "I bet B is upset that he couldn't get in here last night." I opened our bedroom door & there laid Bri. I started laughing, he was as close to the door as he could snuggle his little body. Usually when Jake gets up for work it wakes him up & he crawls in bed with Momma, I can't say I mind snuggling with the little booger. He is doing seemingly well with potty training & hasn't had an accident in a LONG time. He wakes up almost every single morning dry & will wake up in the middle of the night to go pee. Jace is a totally different story, he has no desire to stay dry at night & never wakes to pee. Just goes to show you who is a light sleeper & who is the heavy sleeper. Two boys, fourteen months apart, yet different as night and day! They are, thankfully, best friends!!! 


  Neeley Kayt is doing great, as far as I can tell growing like she should be. I still have the annoying kidney pain, quite a few Braxton Hicks & back contractions. I have a weird new symptom, my pinky & ring finger on my left hand are numb. They are not completely numb just like a dull numb, half way down my finger. I have never had it before, but I am assuming something is pinched somewhere. I assume it will go away, just like the kidney pain after delivery. 



  I still have a lot, A LOT to get done before she gets here. I am looking at 5 1/2 WEEKS TOPS until her arrival. I have a slew of things I need to accomplish, including her nursery. My list is growing & all I can do is stare it & hope it gets done, I should get on the ball!!! My poor dining room table is covered in projects that I want to do, need to be done & are half done. I need to get Maternity pictures taken soon so I can get my mother off my back. I need to mail out invites for the baby shower, thank you cards from Jake's family shower, finish paying off a credit card before N gets here. See, I am drowning here, instead of treading water & keeping up I just seem to be adding more to my list. I should make a "goal" for the weeks to simply accomplish everything on the existing list & only add things to 'next weeks' list. Wish me luck, no laughing!! 


  

Thirty Three

Another two weeks has passed & I had yet another doctors appointment. 

My momma decided to go with me this week & we had a wonderful day, just her, the boys & I.

We were able to hit up a consignment sale (yes, another one) that my grandma saw on television this morning. We also went to a consignment store to get Jace some summer clothes. I dressed him this morning in 3T clothes & they are clearly too small. 

Doctor Appointment Highlights:

• Neeley is measuring perfectly & her heartbeat was in the 130's
• I am anemic & am now on a iron supplement 
• I only gained 3 pound in the last month! I guess watching what I eat & drink is really paying off! 
• I have one more appointment that is 2 weeks away, then I start going weekly! It's getting SO close!

 I am not sleeping so wonderfully & having quite a few Braxton Hicks contractions. Other than that we are trucking along. I will add a picture shortly :) 

Self Body Image

I do not care what any woman says, they are never ever satisfied with their body image. A good friend Shawna & I had a conversation of Facebook earlier about SBI* & I admit, I am not satisfied with my SBI.

*Self Body Image (I am too lazy to time that a million times)


I am pregnant & that really has nothing to do with it, except being pregnant to begin with didn't help along that SBI. Have I ever been truly satisfied with my body? Not for as long as I can remember. Now I was not an anorexic 9 year old, but I have had a pudgy belly the majority of my life. (Thank you Noland side of the family!) Stomachs are hard to "cover" unlike big butt that guys drool over. You never hear "Look at that girls  gut." I have no butt to even be spoke of, I have weird little bird legs and a double chin that tries to take over my face.

If someone asked me, what is one thing that you would surgically change about yourself? It would be my stupid double chin, that would be followed closely by a tummy tuck, real close. Would it do any good at all though? NOPE! I am sure I would then move onto my flabby arms or my "hello I've had 3 kids" drooping chest.

I know that Dove has a campaign, I think they call it "Dove: Campaign for Real Beauty" (yes, I just googled that) They created this amazing video to show girls & women... Well here, watch this....

It's a pretty amazing video of the "evolution" that goes on when professional are involved. They just took an average looking woman, just like you & I and made her "billboard perfect." Where are those people when I want to look good? The majority of the time I could care less about my looks. If I really cared I would not constantly walk around in t-shirts, yoga pants & my hair up in a unbrushed ponytail. Does that have something to do with being pregnant & the Momma of 2 small boys, uh, probably.

With a daughter on the way, it worries me. I don't want her to grow up wishing she was something or someone else. While I may not be satisfied with my body, I am VERY proud of who I am as a whole, fat rolls & all. My friends love me for my personality, my wit, my heart & not for my good looks. My husband loves me for me! He had definitely had skinnier girlfriends in the past, some have had prettier hair, he's dated the cheerleader typer & the preps. It obviously wasn't what he wanted or was meant to be, because he married me. (I won't go into how one was psycho, that is a whole different post haha!) I want Neeley Kayt to find someone who loves her for whats on the inside & not want on the out. That "someone" can wait 40 years to come along, but I hope her Prince Charming just loves her for her.

I hope I never find her crying in the mirror because she thinks "she's fat" or upset because some pin headed boy called her ugly. (Thank God for big brother to handle pin headed boys like that. Fighting is not allowed, unless someone is mean to your sister... or tries to kiss her!!!! *kidding, kind of) I also hope my boys are not pin headed & say mean things to girl who might not be as skinny or pretty as the girls that are portrayed on television are. (And yes, I will knock there heads off if I find out that they say or do something mean to a girl.) 


I recently went to my great aunts 80th birthday party. Her sweet husband Max made her birthday card. On the front it had a picture of Margie when she was 17 or 18, it was the picture taken of her for winning "Carnival Homecoming Queen" and read "What is as beautiful as this Homecoming Queen?" On the inside was a recent picture of her & it read (I cannot remember exactly so don't kill me) "This beauty Queen at 80 years old." All the women in my family nearly died when they read it, it was the sweetest thing every. Max loves Margie for Margie even though she is still beautiful, she's 80. I am certain he loves her more for whats on the inside than the outside. 


I am going out on a whim here to say that I think girls & women who become so obsessed with their looks, hair, make-up, fashion, etc. lose sight of themselves. Not to mention they become very full of themselves, if they are indeed pretty & are really hard to like, they are not true to who they really are. I also cringe when girls annoyingly carry on about "being fat" or "ugly." Just shut up, if it's attention you want, you are not going about it in a good way. Confidence will get you a lot more attention than a "whoa is me pity party."  I have also had "Pity Parties" myself, they don't last long & are normally silenced with a cookie. 

You just have to learn to accept yourself for who you are. Everyone grows old, everyone becomes saggy, everyone get wrinkles & black hair when you're 80 is not natural. Sure, I want to lose weight, but I doubt my husband will love me more. Hopefully I will be more accepting of myself & love myself a little more. I also want to do it to be an example to my children that you should love yourself for you! I also don't want to kick the bucket anytime soon, I want to live a long healthy life. I have to make my kids life miserable you know.

I am WAYYYY behind (31 weeks)

Second post in one day, Whoooo diddly! Actually, I wrote the majority of the last post the other day & didn't have time to finish it & hit publish. I did though want to do a pregnancy/life/everything in general update! So, here you go,

31 Week Doctors appointment update (bullet style again, it works & why fix something that isn't broken hah!)

• Princess is perfect, she's busy & she's growing right where she should be.
• I did not gain any weight HALLE-freakin-LUJAH!!!! I guess passing on all those sweets paid off, even though I DID eat some of mama's pie & Pioneer woman's Apple Dumplings.
• Due to continuing kidney pain & debilitating charlie horses the doctor thinks I may have a electrolyte imbalance. She just added a few vitamins to my prenatal & said that should help a lot. Also suggested drinking Gatorade to get some potassium.
• I go back in two weeks, it's going by sooo fast!!!!

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far along: 31 weeks 2 days

Size of the baby: Still the size of a Squash

15.2-16.7 inches, 2.5-3.8 lb. (7 months)

Total Gain/Loss: Let's just say last month sucked & this appointed I didn't gain any. Win some lose some :)

Maternity Clothes: Yes

Gender: It's a Girl!! We finally decided on a name, Neeley Kayt.

(If you ask me how to pronounce her middle then you need basic letter pronunciation skills. Sound it out... AND no "T" does not make the sound "Tee" it akes the sound "Ta" )

I signed her name on a birthday card this week so, it's that official. hah!

Movement: Girlfriend is a mover & a shaker. She can really get wound up & kick for hours!

Sleep: Ugh, Insomnia hit & hit HARD! The past few night I either cannot fall asleep or I go to sleep and wake up at 3 am and stay awake for HOURS! I am sooo over that business!

Cravings: Not a lot this week, I have been trying to be good.

And for Life, it is going. We have had our fair share of car trouble this month. Jake finally was able to fix the #1 problem we had when we bought Big Black. We knew it when we bought it & that is why we got such a good deal. Turns out it was caused by the same thing that ruined the computer in the truck. When the previous owner had it, the battery exploded & leaked acid all over the place. Well, ate through some wires, one shorted out the computer & the other was the ground pulse to the 8th injector. The injector was not actually bad it so it was a cheap fix once we figured it out. But the battery was still bad, it finally just QUIT going to Monett (just a day or two after we fixed the wire, totally coincidental) . My brother brought me the battery from Jake truck, mind you it had ALSO been going bad. Well it made it to Monett & back to Purdy, then QUIT! By this point I was beyond frustrated. Jake had to come & jump it, it started and went about 4 miles, quit again. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat... 6 times I died coming back to Cassville, finally limped it into Carquest & BOTH batteries tested bad. Just my luck! We got new bigger batteries & viola! Everything is peachy keen, except for the fact that Jake fuel pump finally bit the dust, he is replacing that today! I am so over car trouble!!!!

We sold the bass cat, you know this boat. I was a little sad to see it go but not the payment & insurance. Believe it or not Jake already has yet ANOTHER boat, but it was WAYYYY cheaper & WAYYYY less to maintain. I call it a "John boat" & he corrects me every single time, I stand corrected calling it a Aluminum boat. Maybe he will keep this one and stop this excessive buying, trading, selling habit he inherited from his father. Jake also joined a "Cigar club," I get quite a kick out of it & he doesn't think it's as funny. Oh well!

We have made absolutely NO progress on Neeley's room & it is about to make me crazy. We are in the process of finding a form of storage, we are looking at both a building or a reefer trailer. We just have a few weeks to find it. I might temporarily store things in my mom's garage, just don't tell her! *hi, mom!*

The boys are doing WONDERFUL! They haven't made me crazy yet, although they have attempted a time or two. I PROMISE I am going to have a post on them very very soon! Jace did burn his hand yesterday on a halogen light. It looks terrible, but he IS leaving the bandage on- Praise Jesus!! Bri is just being Bri lately, he spilled a whole bowl of cereal in the floor just this morning. He keeps me on my toes, little stinker!

Well until next time... All my love...

P.S. I got a new e-mail address mrskloss@gmail(dot)com

I will no longer be using whitney(dot)scentsy@gmail(dot)com

Tales from the Pregnant Momma

**Not to be confused with "Tales from the Crypt" My mother & brother use to watch that & I do believe it is the root cause of my debilitating fear of the dark. Ha, moving on**

Earlier this week I was flipping through the local newspaper & saw the public notice for "3 & 4 year old Preschool Screening." It caught me off guard, my heart sunk & my fears arose.

Jace will turn 4 on June twenty eighth, we intentionally decided to delay the start of school for two reason. One, we do not want him to be the baby of his class, boys do not mature as fast as girls. I just want him to be a "kid" as long as he can. School is quite a responsibility now & I didn't want to rob him of his childhood. Two, We wanted him to only be one year apart in school from Bri instead of two. The way their birthday falls, they could have been 2 years apart. They are the best of friends & I didn't want them to be too far apart in school.

Now most of you know I have a severe case of "Momma Bear syndrome," I also have a mad crazy temper that lays dormant. Two things really make that volcano of emotions erupt, road rage & when someone messes with my boys (or family for that matter). I am pretty positive I could be boarder line neurotic. I am not the mad psycho anymore (kidding, sort of) but more the protective, worrier type.

Back to the other day, I start thinking of Jace starting school & sadly say to Jake "Preschool screenings are coming up." Naturally his cold, heartless response is, "Wonderful, you better call and make an appointment" *heart break* I can feel that warm sensation that slowly creeps over your face before you start to cry. I almost couldn't talk, I knew if I did I would start to cry. I remind Jake how much I DON'T want to send the boys to public school. I have tried numerous times to talk him into home schooling or finding a private school to send the boys to, it all falls on deaf ears. One night when my mom & mother in law were both here we were ALL ganging up on him. It did absolutely no good, he wouldn't have any of it, his main concern is money, money, money. And while I understand that with today's economy money is tight all around, but I am almost to the point that I would give up everything to be able to provide the "best" for my babies.

I kept trying to remind him that they are not going to school with the same "type" of kids we went to school with, the majority of the kids in our town are now raised by parents with substance abuse, they are physically & emotionally abused, neglected & that scares the ever living daylights out of me. They are going to treat their classmates the same way they are treated at home. And while my heart breaks for those children, I do not want to subject my babies to that. I don't think he understands that the boys will be around those children more than they will us. They will soon become their influences & no matter how well you "raise" your kids, they will follow there influences. Unfortunately we are from one of the biggest "drug area's" of the country. Meth is horrible around here, all drugs for that matter.

Let me make one thing clear, I am not against public school, I attended public school all of my life. I am just worried that the peers are now entirely different that they were when I attended school. I remember my kindergarten teacher taking mischievous students into the wall & paddling their behinds. Now days, if teacher even look at students the wrong way parents go crazy.

I guess what I am getting at is that if any little moron decided to pick on Jace, because we all know he is so tender hearted; I might break their neck. Also, if they come home & have learned "something" that isn't curriculum related like drugs, sex, bad habits, etc. I might also kill someone. We have worked hard to raise good, polite, respectable kids & I don't want some punk ruining that. Jace has such a wild imagination & I don't want that to end. I also don't want him to be made fun of because he wants to wear rain boots every SINGLE DAY!! I just don't think I could handle seeing him come home with tears in his eyes because someone was mean to him or hurt his feelings. While he is a boy & loves to play rough he is not "mean & hurtful," he would never say something to hurt someones feelings.

So even though I basically sobbed & cried about sending him to school, Jake wants nothing to do with my ideas. I guess I need to put my big girl panties on & give it a shot. Jace is more that excited at the idea of going to "school," I just don't think he knows what he's getting into. I am going to make an appointment & have him screened. He may very well be too smart for pre-school & he may be first in line, I don't know. What I do know is, the second time (because everything deserves at least ONE chance.) He will be out, we will then weigh the options, at that point I will have a good argument to stand on with Jake & he cannot say "we didn't even try it."

Until then, I will be a nervous, worrying wreck! I may end up bald, with ulcers & in a padded room but we are going to TRY... Key work TRY..... *sigh*

Here goes nothing....

*editing to add: While I would worry just as much about Bri, he is a totally different kid. Period! He is stubborn, bossy, NOT tender hearted. Nothing phases that boy & while I would never want him to be picked on & bullied, he is more like momma & would just take care of it himself and give the kid a black eye. HA! I know I should laugh but it's the truth Bri is like me & has my attitude while Jace is more like Daddy & tries to be nice to everyone & befriend everyone. Jake is not one to wear his heart on his sleeve like Jace he is soft hearted like Jace & very caring & compassionate... Maybe Bri & I need a little work. Now, what will this little miss be like.... Oh BIG sigh, I feel the gray hairs growing in as we speak... *SOBS*